Challenging emotions and feelings

And I remember once… I’m on my way to see her at the hospital at lunch time or in the morning, because then, that was the time when the doctor was doing his round, and it was possible that she might be getting discharged and all that. So, I arrive at the hospital, and then, she tells me, “Ah! I’m really not feeling well this morning.” My wife was there, she had been admitted four days about, three, four days—and she said, “I feel worse now, in any case, I feel less well than when I arrived at the hospital.” I said, “Oh! It’s not going well.” And then the doctor comes to do his round, and I was there. And she starts telling the doctor, “ I feel worse, I have more pain and all that.” And the doctor says, “Yes, yes…” And he does his exam, and asks her this question, he says, “Are you ready to go home?” Yes! That’s it! I had as a reaction, “What is this? Did he listen to anything this doctor?” It gave me a strong enough reaction and I talk about it and it still has an effect. And then at that moment, well… she said, “No, not really.” He said, “Yes, we will try to keep you still, but…” in any case. And then, she needed her personal effects, some stuff for work as well, so I went back home to come pickup what she needed. And I went back to see her, but I was at that moment in my transit of… leaving the hospital, going home, and returning to the hospital. Like, I was having an emotional reaction… but really very…

Yes, very intense. I didn’t have anything left. I was… I was raging! I was yelling! I was crying, and that’s something, that never happened to me! Never, never! And then, I was having an enormous reaction… No, but it was just this event that sort of triggered something. And then, I returned, I went… Then I told him, “Listen, this isn’t working. It’s not going well.”

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