How it affects family and friends


I thought, oh! I hope I didn’t kind of rule my mom’s life this way too at the end of her life. It was a shift in roles. We did a lot of healing together though, it was because we spent so much time together, it became more than just visiting. You know it’s not like one of the kids would drop in and visit for a couple of hours they were there 24/7 and so, you sort of lose a lot of your barriers. You don’t feel like you have to engage in conversation, you could be quiet together, I could be sick and not worry about it.

Interviewer: So your role and the nature of the relationships really changed?

They did change. With a lot... With a number of my friends, I had a lot of support. I have an inner circle of women that we’ve been on a spiritual journey together for 15 years. They were just in and out of my life as if nothing had changed. I didn’t have to worry if they came in and I was asleep they would just come in and do what they had to do and leave. They’d drop food off or do my laundry or those kinds of things. It would have mortified me before to have people doing those sort of things for me. So there was a lot of deepening of relationships. I realized just how supportive my network is and I appreciated it. Part of it was having to learn to receive as well, so it was a challenge. I didn’t want to feel like I was obligated and then to realize it didn’t create obligation, it’s a two-way street. I mean, I’m used to being the one who gives emotional support and gives whatever a person needs, so realizing that somebody’s got to be willing to receive or else you can’t give. So it was just seeing the other side of that.

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