Sexuality, femininity and intimacy

He said: “I need to vent, it will make me unwind, I need to vent” because I mean life is not the same. It is completely… I would say that he is a roommate instead of being… he is not affectionate anymore, he is not loving or he still is but in another manner. And me as well, you know life has… completely… I wouldn’t say that it destroyed our life as a couple. That’s not it, he is still with me, but it is at another level… I saw this a little bit in the books that I had. Living with cancer, having sexual intercourse during chemo – forget it! Forget it! It takes everything from you. You do not sleep, you are in a bad mood, you are… Well in my case anyway. I was walking at 4 a.m. and he was hearing me; he had a hard time to sleep. I was trying not to disturb him. At one point I was trying to snuggle up to him because I was not sleeping well. And “You wake me up, you are bothering me.” Then I was getting up with my “security blanket”, I was going to the living room and telling myself: “Poor girl, what were you expecting? You have no more hair, you have no more eyebrows, you are green/yellow, and you are not sleeping because… You are trying to snuggle up, you have no breast. What do you want? What were you expecting? Go to the living room and leave him alone! Leave him alone!” So it was pfff… it was a sequence of all kinds of things. We started making love again few times, and because of the vaginal atrophy I am unable to. It is because of that, I am not able anymore, and the hormone as I told you. There is a hormone at the level of… that acts locally.

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