The hardest part I think during that time was the waiting and knowing you had this cancer growing inside of you and you just want it out. You just want it out, but that sensation, it was always kind of lingering in the background, that burn that itch and, of course it’s on your mind. You don’t know what you know, what stage, how serious, is it located just in the breast, your mind goes everywhere.
The 3-month period was tough. It’s always the idea that you might have something wrong was always lingering and I tried to find the reassurance that, “Okay I’m young, I’m healthy, I’m active, I don’t smoke, I never smoked, I should be okay, right? Cancer’s for old people.” It is not for old people, it does not discriminate against age, size, race, religion it will hit you hard and when it wants. And so the waiting period, I kept on moving and kept on doing what I do. It was the waiting period. Once it was confirmed until action started to take place that I found the toughest, as did my family.
Interviewer: And that was also the period you didn’t know exactly which kind of cancer you had?
Correct what stage, what grade, is it spread, is it the primary source? All of these unknowns and yet it took time to get those answers but it was difficult and it was difficult on the kids, they didn’t want to leave my side. My husband took a leave from work as well, and that was all hard to get used to because you want to see them, continue on normally and you can see the pain in their faces and the stress level around. And you try to make it normal and we grew as a family, we really have a new level of respect for each other. The relationship with the kids and my husband and I grew during that time, that’s a benefit of something really awful that I’m fortunate enough to say that we continue to be a very close family as a result of it.