Trying to find the right balance


I’ve never left the city because I’ve always been too concerned about her to leave. But I’m getting to the point where I’m 27 and I think have a right to live my life. She’s my mom and I know she wants me to live my life at the same time. So, I am toying with the idea of leaving, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. It’s hard because every day you’re trying to live without regrets, so you have to do whatever works best for you to ensure that you feel comfortable about the decisions that you make. But, I also think you have a right to live your life, and to be who you are—and that they want you to. One of the women in my support group lives at home with her mom, [and] has always lived at home with her mom. She’s a lawyer too actually. There are three lawyers in our group; it is quite weird. I don’t know what that is about. [She] lives at home with her mom and they have no help at all; she does everything. She does the groceries, she works 9-5, comes home makes dinner, gets the groceries, cleans the house— she does everything. And, I don’t think she’s serving her mom because I don’t think she’s helping herself. If you’re not taking care of yourself, then you’re not taking care of the other person. So, finding balance, I think, is really important. That took me a really long time. Before, when I was depressed, I just wouldn’t leave my house because I was concerned about her, and then I just started to resent her and her existence. So, I did something to change that, and also now we have support systems in place that allow me to not feel like I need to be there all the time. So, I’ve been lucky, but I think finding the balance is probably the most important thing. I think I’ve found a pretty good one.

View profile