Adapting to new roles and key issues for spouses


He’s in a transition unit now. He’s not in acute care, which is somewhat better. I do find—because I found visiting him in hospital in acute rooms I was really grumpy—I just do not do any of this stuff well. I mean honestly, I’m being really honest when I say I do this caregiving kicking and screaming. I mean, I was dragged into this by circumstance. I mean, never ever. I mean, I can remember in high school in my day, pretty much your choices were to be a nurse, a teacher, or a secretary. Those were your 3 options. And I can remember going on the future nurses’ tour because this was one of the choices. Man, I stepped in that hospital and I went “I am never doing this in my life.” I had such a strong reaction to that. And I grew up in a home that was very stoic. You didn’t get sick; and if you got sick, you better be damn—I mean, my brother broke his knee and nobody believed him for about 2 weeks. We thought he was shirking his chores because we lived on a farm. And so, that’s the kind of upbringing I had. So, you don’t get sick, you don’t. You don’t do any of this, you don’t do this stuff. So this is totally—I would not wish it on anybody. Now my friend, I have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic, and she always says to me, “Well, there has to be some lesson in this,” she says.

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