Seeking Help and Getting Diagnosis
The people we spoke to told us about how and when they decided to seek help for their mental health issues, as well as the obstacles they faced in this process. While several women were able to get support at the right time, many others experienced significant delays.
Several factors made it easier for women to access timely support: having a strong network of mental health support; recognizing the symptoms themselves; already having overcome feelings of shame due to past experiences; having health care professionals who identified their symptoms or initiated conversations about mental health; and, having access to specialized services.
However, many barriers prevented people from getting help in a timely way. These included feelings of shame and fear about speaking up, not knowing where to seek care, and a lack of accessible resources to meet their needs.
Recognizing the Need for Help
Women’s experiences of their first symptoms varied widely as did their stories about how they recognized that help was needed (see more in the topic page about noticing first symptoms). Erin2 described how challenging it was to figure out what was ‘normal’ after becoming a new mother: “It’s a weird situation when … you’re a brand new mother and you have to like self-assess what’s normal, and what’s not normal. When you’re told like ‘Hey, things aren’t going to be normal for the next little while,’ but what does that look like you know?”
Once women realized they did need help, the next step was having to share what they were going through. For many, this was extremely difficult because of their feelings of fear, shame or concerns about what might happen after opening up. You can read more about these challenges in our topic page about stigma and feeling judged.
Some women worried that sharing information or feelings related to their symptoms might lead to losing custody of their baby or that they would not be able to handle the steps that would follow. Amanda2 shared how her symptoms caused her to avoid treatment; she refused to talk openly to the healthcare professionals and fought against the treatment she needed because of how she was feeling.
The intrusive thoughts made Hope scared to ask for help as she feared her baby might be taken away.
Written testimony
I felt scared of myself, I felt these intrusive visual thoughts of horrific things that could happen or even that I could do, I could drop my baby, I could drown my baby, I could smash my baby, I could kill my baby. I was so scared of myself, and I knew I needed to get help, because – and I was scared to get help, because I was scared they would take my baby away, because of those horrific thoughts I would have. They would really scare me, I didn’t know what to do with those thoughts, and thank goodness my husband, like we have a very good relationship and strong relationship, and I could tell him, and I was scared he was going to hurt the baby too. And I was scared that if the baby was out of my sight someone would hurt the baby, but I was also scared I could hurt the baby, and so I had a lot of these intrusive thoughts.
Anyway, I knew I needed to get help, I got help by the same woman who, the same doctor who specializes in medication and pregnancy, she also specializes in the postpartum distress period, and she helped right away. She normalized it right away, because I was very scared of the intrusive thoughts, they’re absolutely horrific, and they were absolutely horrific, and she looked at me and she said; it’s very normal. And I just cried, because I felt abnormal, really abnormal, and it is abnormal, it’s maladaptive, those intrusive thoughts can be adaptive mechanisms, you know, but they get out of control or maladaptive and it’s not normal, like you know, I needed to see somebody.
Interviewer: And you described that you were afraid that if you would look for help that you could lose your baby.
I was very afraid.
Interviewer: So, how can you describe how it went when you did start looking for help or?
I came to the point where the risk of me losing my baby to like the authorities, and I say this and when I said this to medical professionals they smiled and laughed and looked at me with like a loving gaze and said; you are not going to lose your baby, you are not crazy, you know. But it got to the intrusive thoughts and the way I felt got to the point where I was willing to sacrifice me like being thrown in jail for having these thoughts and never seeing my baby again than me having those thoughts with my baby, because that’s how scared I was. I was willing to do that, so when I went to go get help, I thought that maybe that might happen, but I didn’t want to risk hurting my baby, even though the bond still was very not there. I clearly still loved my baby, and that’s another thing that the doctor said; you love your baby. Because it’s clear you love your baby so much, you know. I didn’t feel it though, but I did. But yeah, I was – when I made the first call . . . when I talked to the first doctor about it.
Interviewer: Who did you look for, the doctor was?
The first doctor, so my baby had a checkup, and my doctor that I’m very close with, who was on mat leave, and so her replacement was there and I just told him right away that I need help, yeah. And so, he ordered bloods and made a referral to a psychiatry and whoever the, so I didn’t know I was going to go see the same doctor that I saw prenatally, but anyways, that’s who picked up the referral I guess. And so, I went to go see her and . . . yeah, I was scared that they were going to take my baby away, but as soon as the doctor looked at me and said, you’re not going, I said, they’re going to take my baby away and send me to the loony bin, and he said, no they’re not. And that really helped, you know, but at the same time, I couldn’t really communicate my distress, because I don’t look, maybe right now, and so I’m not very put together right now, but you know, we’re a healthy family, I don’t look distressed.
In addition to the challenges of recognizing their first symptoms and opening up to others about them – both of which could take a significant amount of time, women also spoke about the process of trying to determine whether they truly needed help.
Her son's health was a big reason for Joan to talk to her doctor about her mental health struggles.
Transcript
So I kept it a secret, kept it a secret. We went to our family doctor. So we all have the same family doctor; went to our family doctor and made a comment about not wanting any more children, because for a long time I, you know. And even still […]
Mirian never received a questionnaire or a diagnosis when she reached out for help.
Transcript
And I did have symptoms. It wasn’t just an ‘if’ thing. You know? Like, I did feel like I had symptoms of postpartum depression the second time as well. And so it was a good thing that at least I had the therapist. But then again, I asked the doctor […]
Navigating the Health Care System for Help
Women shared experiences of having to advocate for themselves, by being persistent and/or needing to explore multiple pathways for accessing the help they needed. For example, Leah described her experience of reaching out to a mental health crises helpline, her family doctor, and a postpartum mental health clinic during an emergency. However, she faced several barriers, including long waiting lists, services that were only available to parents with babies younger than nine months old, and finding herself ineligible for help because she wasn’t experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self-harm.
In a final attempt, Leah’s husband encouraged her to contact her doctor again. After several unsuccessful tries, she finally received a prescription to help manage her symptoms until she could be seen by a mental health professional.
Another challenge for many women was being able to prioritize their own care while managing the demands of caring for a baby. Mental health issues often added to these difficulties, making it harder for them to seek the support they needed.
Waiting lists and being from a small community were some of the challenges for Kaitlyn while trying to get the help she needed.
Transcript
Because I already knew her outside. So I think one of the biggest barriers potentially to getting help was the fact that I live in a small town and there’s so few healthcare providers. And yeah, just knowing everyone kind of really stopped that. I remember at one point when […]
Leah's husband called the mental crises helpline to help find resources before his military deployment.
Transcript
My husband is deployed again, we have the upcoming deployment. So I was just kind of stressed about that. I definitely had a lot, I would say, anger and rage particularly towards my husband. And yeah, I kind of brushed it, you know, brushed aside “I don’t have time to […]
After 5 years of seeking help, Josée-Anne finally received a diagnosis and began treatment.
Transcript
J’ai accouché et ça a été à 6 mois, je me suis mise à pleurer, c’était vraiment… J’avais la petite dans mes bras, je pleurais, je pleurais, puis « Je ne serai jamais capable d’être une mère. », puis je m’en voulais terriblement. Puis… Fait que c’est là que j’ai fait : « Ok, […]
Despite having clearly stated that she was not feeling well, Julie still had to wait weeks before getting support.
Transcript
And I remember receiving this prescription from him and I broke down into tears. And I told him, you know, I study the health system. Like, this is what I do as a profession. And I can’t believe that this is how I’m being treated and that I can’t access […]
Women shared their stories about the various ways that they were able to access the healthcare system and get the support they needed – some experiences were positive resulting in timely access to support, and some more negative or frustrating experiences. Some were referred to mental health services after discussing their concerns with their family doctor or during routine baby wellness visits. This approach was particularly effective in regions where provincial healthcare services offered specialized programs for mental health challenges during and after pregnancy. Others accessed the healthcare system through emergency visits, where they were able to obtain a referral for further care. As mentioned in some examples above, some women eventually got help and support after some time, with advocacy and support from others.
During a visit to the breastfeeding clinic, the nurse noticed that Amanda1 was not feeling well and arranged for her to see the family doctor right away.
Transcript
Oh I forgot about the time I had mastitis. So that’s kind of good to mention because it was actually the nurse at the health unit so yes, not long after she was home from the jaundice I got mastitis. And in my feverish head I thought it was a […]
When Krysta shared her story about what was happening to her, she was referred to the hospital and received the help she needed.
Transcript
I tried to fight it a little bit, like once he was born I thought maybe things would improve a bit but quickly I realized this is really severe and it’s not improving. So I went to the midwives and I had to tell them, “This is my – what […]
Louise was able to sign up for a program shortly after visiting her healthcare centre.
Transcript
Depuis mon arrêt de travail? Mon seul regret, je dirais, c’est de ne pas avoir eu ça avant. T’sais c’est d’avoir tombé enceinte qui m’a fait découvrir ici. Fait que c’est… Je dirais que, c’est… T’sais j’aurais tombé enceinte, il y a 10 ans, puis regarde j’aurais été … avoir […]
After visiting her parents while in crisis, Candace contacted her family doctor and immediately received the support she needed.
Transcript
So as soon we were in, once I got back to here, home, from staying with my parents for a little bit, we went into sort of like crisis mode where I got an appointment with my family doctor and was very open and told the entire story. She was […]
Many women reflected on their experiences and shared that, if faced with similar challenges again, they now feel more comfortable speaking openly about their mental health struggles. By sharing their stories, they hoped to encourage others to seek help earlier and reduce the stigma around mental health issues. Erin2 shared the following: “So we just try and like soldier on, but the worst part of anxiety and depression, you can’t just soldier on. You have to ask for help. Because it’s just not something that you should have to go through by yourself.”
If this happened again, Susan would ask for help sooner.
Written testimony
In regards to doing anything else differently, I don’t know. I think I would just, well I hope that I wouldn’t go through it again but if I did I’d kind of know what to expect and I would know, you know, to reach out for help sooner and not suffer as long as I did with my daughter and just sort of nip it in the bud before it gets to be too bad. I think with this time it was the shame of admitting that something was wrong and that I needed help and I think next time I would know enough that, you know, there’s nothing to be ashamed of and asking for help is okay. It’s okay for people to have help once in a while. With the next one I would hope I would be able to handle the PPD better if it did happen again.