How it affects family and friends – Iceni

 

Iceni felt people were scared and stopped seeing her. Her own son was not able to visit her.

Transcript

Well like I say, I’ve got some very, very good, dear and close friends that would listen. But then you don’t want to feel like you’re whining. “Oh I feel ya, ya you know” because I’m a very private person in that respect, unless I’m lying on the floor in agony or something. But another thing as I say my, acquaintances, don’t walk across the street when you see me, because some people would and some people stopped coming. My son couldn’t visit me. Every time I phoned him he had a cold but he was crying this big, tough guy and I said “What’s…” “Oh allergies.” And he wouldn’t talk to me. He wouldn’t visit me, he couldn’t face it and I understood that, of course, but some people might have been hurt but I understood he couldn’t face it. He could not visit me. Then I would have friends walk to the other side of the street because they don’t know what to say. Just say “Hi how are you?” I’m not going to stand and say “Well I’ve got this and I have that and they cut this.” Just show that “How are you doing?” But people are scared of it and they’re afraid of it, afraid of sick people and scared of cancer because people think oh if she drinks out of that glass I’ll get it. There is still that attitude, that if you touch somebody or breathe some, they’ll get it. What my other friend who’s had… she got breast cancer, now it’s in her bones, it’s travelling, she goes up to (name city in SK) for treatment she said “You know I don’t know.” I say “I know” but yeah I had a lot of support.

My children they didn’t understand what I was actually going through, pain. They were very impatient, got their own lives run, run, run. Not that they wouldn’t have helped me but after a month of…they didn’t say but I got the impression, “Well get on with it will ya.” But working, children of their own, busy lives. I stayed with one of my daughters for a while but it wasn’t home. I wanted to be home on my own. It would have been nice to have a nurse but not the family. They handled it well, I’ve never talked to them about it really, I know they were upset, like I say, my son went to church and that’s so funny. He’s not a church goer and when I found out, I thought that was hilarious. That’s the funniest thing. He’s never been since either. He had tea with the old ladies or something, he didn’t tell me but I was getting told. I didn’t say anything but that was funny.

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