May-Lie struggled with the impact of breast cancer on her relationship as did her partner.
Written testimony
He said: “I need to vent, it will make me unwind, I need to vent” because I mean life is not the same. It is completely… I would say that he is a roommate instead of being… he is not affectionate anymore, he is not loving or he still is but in another manner. And me as well, you know life has… completely… I wouldn’t say that it destroyed our life as a couple. That’s not it, he is still with me, but it is at another level… I saw this a little bit in the books that I had. Living with cancer, having sexual intercourse during chemo – forget it! Forget it! It takes everything from you. You do not sleep, you are in a bad mood, you are… Well in my case anyway. I was walking at 4 a.m. and he was hearing me; he had a hard time to sleep. I was trying not to disturb him. At one point I was trying to snuggle up to him because I was not sleeping well. And “You wake me up, you are bothering me.” Then I was getting up with my “security blanket”, I was going to the living room and telling myself: “Poor girl, what were you expecting? You have no more hair, you have no more eyebrows, you are green/yellow, and you are not sleeping because… You are trying to snuggle up, you have no breast. What do you want? What were you expecting? Go to the living room and leave him alone! Leave him alone!” So it was pfff… it was a sequence of all kinds of things. We started making love again few times, and because of the vaginal atrophy I am unable to. It is because of that, I am not able anymore, and the hormone as I told you. There is a hormone at the level of… that acts locally.
More content
- Surgery -May-LieHaving to undergo a second surgery was a big shock for May-Lie.
- Perspectives on treatment pathways -May-LieA test to measure the tumour markers caused so much stress that May-Lie asked for it to stop.
- Understanding the diagnosis -May-LieMay-Lie emphasized the importance of how you feel during the treatments rather than the importance of understanding the exact diagnosis.
- Sexuality, femininity and intimacy -May-LieMay-Lie struggled with the impact of breast cancer on her relationship as did her partner.
- Physical activity and diet changes -May-LieMay-Lie found exercise to be a great way to relieve stress and tension through her treatment.
- Follow-up care and the risk of recurrence -May-LieMay-Lie wondered whether her cancer had returned when she had pain in her bones. She had a friend who had died in this way.