In trying to support Amanda1, her husband also struggled with the challenges of her depression.
Transcript
It definitely took us a long time to really connect again. It was a struggle for him. I think he very much felt, you know, responsible for helping me and sometimes neglected his own care. So he wouldn’t always be coping in a very productive way shall we say. And then it becomes a vicious circle, you know. He’s tired and frustrated with me for being upset all the time so he snaps at me, which gets me thinking “Oh he doesn’t love me anymore.” So then I’m more depressed and it just goes on and on in a downward spiral if you let it happen like that. And I think it can be really challenging to break that cycle. And realize that the other person is also struggling. They’re struggling even if they’re not depressed. They’re struggling with your depression too. And they don’t know how to help. And they’re just doing the best they can with the resources they can.
And forgiveness is a big thing. And you have to be prepared to say “Hey, you know what my husband’s not perfect but he’s trying.” And that’s enough for now. And just doing that occasionally is enough to make the next day a little bit better because when he snaps at you, you’re not as angry at him for doing that because you realize that he’s tired and he’s struggling. He’s coping with depression himself. And that makes him less likely to snap because you were forgiving and, you know, it starts to then build in the other way.
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