Candace and her husband started talking after she experienced non-stop thoughts at night, and she slowly revealed how strong the thoughts were.

Transcript

Yes, is when I was at my lowest point. All I could do was nurse her. That was, that was it. It got to the point where I had to, you know, I finally told my husband the real thoughts that I was having because, you know, when he would come home from work, or when I was with people, I would find that the thoughts weren’t as prominent. And so, because I was distracted, you know, having conversations with people.

But I distinctly remember one night, where I was taking some time to myself, laying down in bed, and I had just bombarding thoughts that felt like they were right here and they wouldn’t go away, and I couldn’t distract myself from them. I was just looping through, and they were very disturbing. And I finally went in and sat with my husband and just cried and cried and cried and shared with him some of the things I’d been thinking about. Again, leaving out parts about potentially, or the thoughts of harming my daughter, leaving those out because I was so afraid and embarrassed and just afraid because how could I be thinking those things?

So throughout the night, you know, he asked a lot of questions and we talked quite a bit, and finally, I was able … He finally asked me, “Are you having thoughts about hurting our daughter?” And I … It was hard because I said, “Yes, I’m having the thoughts, and I know I don’t want to do it, but they feel so strong.”

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