Erin1 found a support group at a community hospital, and it saved her by helping her realize that she's not alone.

Transcript

Interviewer: So how did you get through this? I mean, you know, you’re in a different place now. What – what did – what happened, eventually, to turn the corner?

We had put my son’s name on daycare waiting lists. And I went and I toured one that was just behind our condo. And they said that they took babies from four months on. And that was when my son was about three and a half months. At four months, I said to my partner, “I can’t do this anymore.” So we put my son in daycare at four months. He was the youngest kid in daycare. And, as well, I managed to, through just searching on the Internet for help – again, I was seeing the psychiatrist, and I must have been on, you know, to switch medications every two weeks. Nothing really seemed to help me. I found out about a support group that was at a community hospital close to me. And I went to it every week. And that was what saved me.

Interviewer: Tell me about that.

[emotional] To go in a room with other women who were going through – exactly through what you went through is such – it just makes you feel like you’re not the only one, you’re not crazy, you’re okay, that what you’re go – because you just feel so isolated when you’re going through it. You know, like I said, I – I got the message, “You should pull yourself together,” you know, and everyone thinks you should be happy, because you just had a new baby, and this baby was planned and he was loved. And that was actually my problem and actually what drove me to a point where I was actually suicidal, because I was thinking, “My son deserves so much better than me as a mom.” I was like, “if I kill myself, my partner can get married again, he can have a great stepmom, he just – he deserves more than me.” ”

And that was kind of like my lowest point. But yes, to go into a group where there’s other women who are feeling the same way as you and thinking the same things as you and just the social workers who facilitated it were amazing. And it’s funny, because there’s still some things that I – I say to myself today with my second child that I remember the social worker saying. Like, one of them said, “You know, nobody ever died from crying.” So as much as it sounds, whatever, that you know, if I’m freaking out and feeling really anxious because my baby is crying and I don’t know why, because he’s teething or whatever, you know, you should just tell yourself, “Okay. No one ever died from crying.” Or feeling like if I’m just overwhelmed with his crying, I can put him somewhere safe, and I can take a few minutes for myself. But yes, I mean, it was just – I always think that the best form of therapy and – and what helped me the most with my eating disorder, as well, was group therapy, and just talking to other people and other women who were going through the same thing.

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