Emma

Age at interview: 32

Emma is 32 years old and lives with her husband and two children of 3.5 years and 20 months at the time of the interview.

When Emma was about seven months pregnant with her first born, she started to have different sorts of feelings outside her usual range of emotions and moods. She felt tense, worrying about bonding with the baby and about the expectations of others. This led to a depression spiral where she felt that nobody wanted her but wanted just her baby. When she also started to have anxiety attacks and suicidal ideations, she sought counselling, and this helped her to feel better again. She started to bond with the baby in her belly. When the baby was born, she felt sad that the bonding period had been shortened by the constant anxiety and suicidal ideations. Emma found her second pregnancy to be more physically challenging – she was sick throughout her pregnancy. She planned a beautiful homebirth and didn’t worry about the postpartum period as she felt this birth would change everything for her. Unfortunately, Emma ended up having an emergency C-section and her son was taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). During the delivery and when her son was at the NICU, she had some traumatic experiences and once back home she experienced the worst rage, chest pains and anxiety attacks.

Emma originally wanted to breastfeed both children and to avoid medication while breastfeeding. Some healthcare professionals were supportive in these periods and others were not. At some point she received helpful support from a counsellor but then found out that these services were not covered by insurance, so she had to stop them. Also, some mental health services that were available when her first child was born, no longer existed at this time. This made accessing mental health support more challenging. She did find support from a group, organized by her doula, where new moms with depression and anxiety would come together. She hopes that in the future, the challenges of motherhood and parenthood will be more appreciated – including the particular period of transitioning to parenthood. She is motivated to contribute to this change and has decided to pursue a degree in counselling to help turn this difficult experience into a good one for others.

 

More content