Hope

Age at interview: 46

Hope lives with her husband and two daughters. She has faced a long history of mental health issues over many years – both for herself and within her family. Hope was diagnosed with anxiety and depression prior to the birth of her first daughter and has a thyroid condition which has complicated her treatment, as well as her experiences of pregnancy and postpartum distress. She has been on and off various medications for her mental health and thyroid problems and over time was able to find the best combination so that she could manage while pregnant and after the birth of her daughters, and it also helped enormously with her return to work after her first baby.  

It was a challenge to become pregnant given her husband’s health condition, but they were able to access reproductive technologies to help with both pregnancies. Hope didn’t feel well during her second pregnancy, and after the birth she started to have intrusive, disturbing thoughts and became afraid for her daughter and her own mental health. She had trouble breastfeeding (later resolved when her daughter’s tongue tie was fixed) and couldn’t bond with her baby. She sought and received help from a breastfeeding clinic and was also referred to a mental health specialist who worked to adjust her medications as needed. She was eventually able to fall in love with her baby, feel better, and says she is now in a great space, physically and mentally.  

Hope’s advice to others is to not be shy about asking for help. You are not alone and there may be solutions for the problems you are experiencing. Hope is grateful for the support, knowledge and resources from the professionals who helped her, and particularly for the reassurance she received from her doctor when she was having intrusive thoughts. The doctor told her “it is clear that you love your baby”.

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• Seeking Help and Getting Diagnosis – Hope
  The intrusive thoughts made Hope scared to ask for help as she feared her baby might be taken away.
• Work, Finances and Mental Health – Hope
  Although it was financially challenging Hope extended her maternity leave because she felt she missed out on the first three months with her child.
• Relationships – Hope
  When Hope shared her worries with her husband that he might hurt the children, he accompanied her to find help.
• Support from Family and Friends – Hope
  Hope is thankful for having a supportive husband.
• Bonding – Hope
  Sometimes, the bond needed a little encouragement, and Hope believes that cuddling and skin-to-skin contact can strengthen that connection with the baby.
• Bonding – Hope
  With her second baby, Hope didn't feel an immediate explosion of joy after birth, and a few hours later, she experienced her first intrusive thought.
• Coping with Feeding – Hope
  Continuing breastfeeding, despite the challenges, helped Hope move past the postpartum period.
• Symptoms – Hope
  It was a huge relief for Hope when her doctor reassured her that intrusive thoughts can be normal and are treatable.
• Birth Experience and Mental Health – Hope
  After a good birth experience, Hope didn't feel the explosion of phenomenal joy she had expected.
• Before and During Pregnancy – Hope
  The first fear Hope experienced when she heard she was pregnant was that she then had to get off her medications.