Karmin

Age at interview: 26

Karmin is 26 years old and lives together with her husband and 10-month-old baby at the time of the interview.  

Karmin has experienced periods of depression since she was 14 years old and continued to see her psychologist and psychiatrist during and after her pregnancy. Together with the psychiatrist it was decided that she would continue taking a lower dose of medication during the pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Karmin started to experience some anxiety at the beginning of her pregnancy; she had experienced two losses before this pregnancy. Towards the end of her pregnancy, the anxiety was contributing to more and more symptoms which began to disrupt her daily living. She thought that these symptoms would likely go away as soon as she had the baby safe in her arms, but after a challenging pregnancy and traumatic birth experience, she started experiencing a lot of depression. She stopped taking care of herself and the house and was supplementing her breastfeeding routine with formula. She was also learning to cope with feelings of guilt – feelings that she had never known before motherhood. She had hoped to be the kind of mother who managed to have her baby asleep while she was making food for the family in a clean house, like the images she encountered in social media posts about motherhood. The reality was, however, very different and this required her to adjust her usual habits and routines. She learned to communicate more clearly about what she needed from her husband, found a support group and social media posts that spoke frankly about the challenges entering motherhood. She is happy that she continued to take a lower dose of medication which enabled her to take care of her daughter. She will soon return to work, almost two months earlier than originally planned as she hopes that reducing the financial strain may also help her to feel better. She thinks that if she had had some support and validation after a traumatic birthing experience, it could have helped her feel better and perhaps reduce the impact on her mental health. She wishes that she could have known earlier about certain resources available in her community and that there could be one central place where services were offered.

 

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