Zoe

Age at interview: 37

Zoe is a 37-year-old woman who lives in a large city with her husband and son who was 17 months old at the time of interview. In her early 20s, Zoe began to experience persistent anxiety that was interfering with her daily life. She was prescribed medication that helped her (an SSRI) but was told that she should stop taking it if she planned to become pregnant.

Years later, when Zoe was hoping to become pregnant, she was again advised, by her family doctor, to stop taking the medication because of risks to the baby. She gradually weaned herself off the medication and tried to use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exercise to regulate her mood. While these things helped to some degree, Zoe’s anxiety level began to rise uncomfortably. She tried to get more specific information about the risks associated with taking her medication during pregnancy but was given vague and unhelpful information by every healthcare provider. The message she received over and over again was that if you want to be a mother you can’t take your medication.

Zoe became pregnant very quickly but suffered an early miscarriage. At the time she did not know that this is a common occurrence, and she blamed herself, thinking that her high anxiety levels were the cause. This, in turn, spiraled into a depression. Zoe was unable to eat or sleep normally and was plagued by intrusive morbid thoughts and profound doubts about whether she could ever be a mother. She was surrounded by friends having babies and people telling her that motherhood was the most natural thing in the world. Zoe went back on her medication which eventually stabilized her mood.

Desperate for more accurate information about the risks of pregnancy while taking her medication, a chance conversation with a friend led Zoe to a new doctor who assured her that she could indeed take her medication during pregnancy. She also referred Zoe to a psychiatric pharmacologist who was able to provide her with much more detailed and accurate information about her medication and any possible risks to the baby. She was reassured that the risks were minimal. With the support of these healthcare providers Zoe had a successful pregnancy and delivered a healthy child.

Zoe questioned the idealized image of motherhood that is so prevalent in our culture and challenged the taboo against women taking medication during pregnancy. She feels strongly that women shouldn’t have to choose between their own health and well-being and that of their baby.

 

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