Advice to Other Women with Mental Health Issues
Women that we spoke with, who had experienced mental health issues during or after pregnancy, offered advice and support for other women experiencing similar challenges. The following themes emerged from their stories and experiences:
- Seeking and accepting help
- Talking about it – breaking stigma and normalizing conversations
- Navigating experiences and new realities
- Making self-care and personal well-being a priority
- Persistence and hope
Seeking and Accepting Help
Women emphasized the need to reach out quickly for support from professionals as well as encouraged other women to use their other support networks. Reaching out for healthcare professional support was seen as crucial. Julie says: “I guess the biggest piece of advice is to let people know if you need help. To listen to your voice and let people know if you’re not OK”.
Zoe describes excellent professional care as essential.
Written testimony
I think those are the two most essential, I would add support. So care, information and support. Those are I think priority. Starting from care we need, I was very lucky to fall on compassionate doctors, medical professionals who helped me, who listened to me, who understood me, who didn’t pathologize, over diagnose me, and over medicate me. Who got the full story assessed, were there to support and most importantly to give me accurate, reliable, recent research information. That was a godsend. That was just, I owe them a lot.
Josée-Anne advises others to talk to your doctor or psychiatrist, don't wait.
Transcript
Bien j’ai une amie qui est dans cette situation-là, puis je lui ai dit de parler à son médecin de famille, puis d’aller consulter. De ne pas attendre puis que… De ne pas avoir peur, un psychiatre c’est un médecin qui est là pour t’aider. Puis 9qu’en fait, si ça […]
Karmin advises other women to reach out for help as soon as possible.
Transcript
I think I would talk to them about the importance of reaching out for help as soon as you feel like something’s off. And to know it’s – like, yeah, you might feel like it’s just hormones and stuff going on, but I think it’s good to make sure you […]
Others highlighted the value of leaning on any available networks, whether family, friends, peers or community. Alice referred to the common phrase “It takes a village to raise a child”, reinforcing the importance of using resources such as community centres and peer groups to reduce isolation and get emotional and logistic support to help new moms.
Michelle1 recommends taking advantage of your relationships to get help.
Transcript
Ask for help. If you feel overwhelmed and tired, which you will in the first couple of weeks of bringing a newborn home, ask for help. Anybody that is willing to visit, ask them to bring you some food, any relatives that can help, just come and watch the baby […]
Amanda2 says support groups make you feel less alone.
Transcript
I think I wish I had known that there were, about the support group, the Postpartum Support International. I wish I had known about that program going into my third pregnancy and postpartum period because the power of just knowing I wasn’t alone was really, really healing and helpful. So, yeah, […]
Talk About It – Breaking Stigma and Normalizing Conversations
Women in this study encouraged more openness about mental health issues during and after pregnancy. Their advice was a call to family and friends to offer proactive and non–judgmental support. Some mothers shared their struggles with guilt, societal expectations, fear of judgement and stigma around postpartum depression (PPD).
Amanda1 encourages family members to ask direct, albeit difficult, questions.
Transcript
I think the biggest one was just don’t be afraid to ask. Um, you know, um at one point my mom did ask me she said, you know, “Have you thought of killing yourself?” And I kind of was taken aback, but I was like “Well no it’s not quite […]
Joan would like friends to step up and offer support.
Transcript
I think I wish that my girlfriends could understand a little bit better how to support somebody when they’re being pregnant. I think that there’s a lot of talk of, you know when you’re the friend that doesn’t have a child, how that affects you. But I think that it […]
Sara addresses the fear of repercussions from talking to others.
Transcript
Je le sais, mais c’est ça que je trouve plate que ce soit tabou, si les gens… On n’est pas obligé de se… de toujours en parler puis de se vautrer dans le négatif, mais ça serait bien de pouvoir en parler librement, puis de ne pas se sentir mal. […]
Hope advocated for a normalization of mental health struggles and wanted to reassure women that their feelings were valid and not unique. She discussed how common having intrusive thoughts is: “this is all postpartum women, we’ll have some intrusive thoughts, they are normal. What is not normal is when they’re constant and when they’re all the time, and they disturb you.”
Navigating Expectations and New Realities
Adjusting expectations about motherhood and accepting imperfections was a recurring theme. Some women felt unprepared for the changes that came with motherhood and did not anticipate the transformative nature of motherhood. Joan captured her advice about how having a child is not a cookie-cutter experience by saying: “- life changes in so many different ways, and life, like it doesn’t – it just doesn’t need to be this beautiful picture that everyone paints. Like there can be a little bit more rawness and reality to it”.
Kaitlyn encourages women to become educated on how a baby will change your relationships.
Transcript
I think we need to – it’s so hard because it might be too late by the time that they’re looking for this advice. But I think we really need to educate ourselves on what it looks like to have a baby when it’s not just you know, like baby […]
Michelle1 suggests being emotionally ready for the changes that come with being a parent.
Transcript
The other thing that I would say is understand that having a baby, although it’s wonderful bringing a new life and having a new love, it also is a loss of your former self. You can never stop being a mother. You will always be a mother whether you have […]
Michelle1 describes how being a 'good enough' mother is helpful.
Transcript
And I was admonished for saying that I want to be the perfect mother for my son because trying to be perfect is just going to make him into a perfectionist. You know, he’s never going to achieve what I want him to, but also it puts undo pressure onto […]
Making Self-Care and Personal Well-Being a Priority
Taking time for self-care, for recovery and balance, even when energy is low, was a repeated message for others.
Aurore reinforces the importance of napping, hydration and healthy eating.
Transcript
Well, I think the sleeping piece is really important, the sleeping, the napping, when baby naps. So any of those pieces about staying hydrated, and eating, even if it’s just healthy snacks. Somehow, you know, getting a community in place.
Geneviève reminds women not to lose themselves in parenting.
Transcript
Quand on est une maman on a tendance à s’oublier, puis quand on est en dépression, c’est encore pire parce qu’on se dit justement que toute l’énergie qu’on a, il faut qu’on l’investisse pour notre enfant parce qu’on n’en a pas beaucoup puis si on n’a pas beaucoup de choses […]
Persistence and Hope
In the experiences of the women in this study, they acknowledged that recovery requires time, effort, and determination, but emphasized that improvement is possible. They stressed that the challenges are temporary and emphasized perseverance. Candace encouraged new moms: “My advice… – would be… struggling with postpartum. Its not going to last forever. You get the help that you need and you work at it. Its going to be hard, but its going to be worth it.”
Amanda2 wants to reassure others that it is possible to get better.
Transcript
Of course, that you are not, they are not alone and that it is possible to get better. I think that that’s so, so important. I mean, that goes for women in the postpartum and for folks dealing with mental illness across the lifespan. It can feel like a really […]
The women we spoke with were concerned that their mental health had a negative impact on bonding with their child. Amanda1 provided reassurance that there were no long–term issues with her child, but other women worried about the impact on their children.
Amanda1 advises to just think about what you need to do tomorrow - and the rest will take care of itself.
Transcript
It’s been nearly nine years since my sons died. It’s been oh, you know 6-7 years since I had post partum depression. And I think for me um there’s an expression about how when you have a baby the years are short but the days are long [laugh]. And um […]
Sophia says there is hope but it takes time and effort.
Transcript
Bien que le chemin… Malheureusement, le chemin pour s’y rendre va dépendre de leur détermination. C’est qu’il ne faut pas avoir peur. Oui, ça demande du courage, ça demande énormément d’effort, énormément de précision qu’il faut passer par-dessus, puis de déception en tant que mère puis de négatif pour voir […]
Geneviève says don't feel guilty or ashamed; you didn't choose this.
Transcript
Bien premièrement, il ne faut pas se sentir coupable, parce que ce n’est pas… On n’a pas décidé que ça allait se passer. Il ne faut pas être gênée, en avoir honte, parce que ce n’est pas non plus nous qui avons décidé, puis il ne faut pas, d’après moi, […]