Managing Personal Challenges with Sleeping and Eating
The lack of sleep and irregular sleep patterns, as well as disrupted self-care routines, are commonly known as major challenges for many parents with newborns. For the people we spoke to, the sleep problems were not just because of having a new baby, but also because of their mental health struggles. Some women, as they start feeling worse, found themselves suddenly unable to sleep at all or they forgot to eat. Others explained how their mental health condition or the medication they were taking made them feel they needed to sleep for longer periods during the day.
Having had experience with an eating disorder, Erin1 took precautionary steps, knowing her body would change during pregnancy.
Transcript
She (the doctor) knew about my eating disorder. I’d been very open with her. In fact, we were even – I was even being weighed on the scale backwards. That’s something that – I felt like I didn’t want to know my weight, so I said to my doctor, “Just […]
Looking back, Julie realizes how a chronic lack of sleep spiraled into heightened anxiety.
Transcript
I wish I had known in advance how hard it might be. And it’s OK that it’s hard and that it’s not a reflection of the woman in terms of not being strong enough, not being, you know, resilient enough. You know, it’s not a reflection of – it’s nothing […]
The severe eczema of Kaitlyn's baby led to many sleepless nights and everything falling apart so quickly.
Transcript
Well at first, like the first couple weeks it was fine. I’m like generally a very laid back person. I can handle things like quite well. I’m really like, practical. But when he had how moderate to severe eczema start at that three or four weeks he started breastfeeding around […]
Inability to Sleep
Some mentioned getting stuck in a cycle where the lack of sleep made them more anxious, and the anxiety, in turn, made it even harder to sleep. Some babies slept little or were constantly fussy, which made things worse for parents, as they worried about when they would finally be able to sleep.
A vicious circle of not being able to sleep and anxiety led Erin2 to worry about accidentally hurting her baby because of the tiredness.
Transcript
No, it’s OK. I’ve talked about this a lot because I’ve been through a lot of therapy. So it’s like OK for me to talk about but you know I still get emotional over it still sometimes. [crying] The anxiety was the worst for me. The depression was bad, but […]
At 4am, without sleep, Susan felt she regretted everything and just wanted to sleep again.
Transcript
I was just awake all night worrying, being anxious, being upset, watching her sleep, if she ever did sleep, trying to get a bit of sleep myself, which I barely ever did. Suddenly I didn’t want to be a mom. I remember when, I think it was four nights, when […]
Several other people described, how they started to feel worse and reached a moment where they completely stopped sleeping or forgot to sleep and eat.
Sara didn't eat for three days. A friend came after she called her, fed her and encouraged her to contact a crises center.
Transcript
Mais j’ai arrêté de manger pendant plusieurs jours, parce que j’étais malade en plus. Parce que j’étais malade ma production de lait a baissé. Fait que là je me suis sentie coupable parce que ma production de lait baissait, parce que j’étais malade. En tout cas, t’sais je faisais des… […]
During her psychotic episode Genna developed a sort of algorithm to help her remember her daily tasks, as she often forgot to eat or sleep.
Transcript
So I was getting really distracted and I wasn’t able to take care of my daughter so I started writing down the steps I should take to take care of her. So I created a standard operating procedure that first I had to check whether my health was okay but […]
After 3-4 sleepless nights, Erin2 realized that taking care of herself had to become a priority.
Transcript
I had just not slept in so long. So I knew that you know, for me to be taking care of a young baby when I was like, literally so sleep deprived that I felt like I needed to go to the hospital. Like I knew that you know, I […]
Being Sleepier than Usual
In some cases, people were sleepier due to their mental health problems or due to the medication they took for their mental health problems.
Geneviève spent days sleeping on the sofa during her pregnancy and after the baby was born.
Transcript
Intervieweuse: Donc c’était plutôt automatique. Ah! C’est le pilote automatique était activé à 100 milles à l’heure, ce n’était qu’automatique, j’étais très… Quand je faisais des sorties pour me changer les idées, c’était une amie qui venait me chercher, c’est elle qui conduisait pour m’amener puis tout ça, puis elle me […]
Christine didn't feel any drive to see her newborn and just wanted to lay in bed and let her husband take over the baby's care.
Transcript
So, I only nursed for maybe three or four days. And then I just started pumping, I thought I don’t need to… It was never important for me to breastfeed, like that was never a, I wanted to give him breast milk. But it wasn’t important that I breastfed, pumping […]
Coping with the Lack of Sleep or Excessive Sleeping
Several people felt that starting medication had a positive impact on their sleeping routine and mental health.
After Myriam's sleep problems got worse, her doctor prescribed medication that helped stop the insomnia.
Transcript
Oh! C’est parti, bon, ok, bien c’est ça. En fait, moi c’est ça j’ai eu mon premier garçon il y a 3 ans, ma grossesse c’est super bien passée, aucun symptôme, rien, ça allait bien. Outre que j’avais comme je disais tantôt des petits problèmes au niveau de l’insomnie. Que ça […]
After taking medication and going to therapy, Amanda2 noticed that her sleep was becoming more regular, her anxiety decreasing.
Transcript
So, I did go to the family doctor. I had a number of appointments with her and her colleagues in the office. She has a doctor that covers for her when she’s not there. I did end up making the decision to get started on an SSRI, an anti-depressant and […]
Besides taking medication, people also described adjusting their sleeping schedules to match their baby’s. Some people got help from family and friends, which gave them the chance to get more rest. Leah worked with a sleep trainer who helped both her and the baby sleep better at night.
Even though her family tried to give Christine time to sleep, she still could not fall asleep and would often just lay down and cry.
Transcript
I kept trying to sort of assume it was gonna go away, like I had, my baby was healthy for all intents and purposes, and my family was around, and everyone tried trying to give me time to go and sleep and lay down. But even when I would lay […]
Getting help from her parents and husband made the nights with the baby much easier for Louise.
Transcript
Intervieweuse: Comment ça s’est passé avec… La relation avec [NAME], puis gérer toutes les nouvelles choses qui sont reliés à la maternité? Comment ça s’est passé. Je dirais que ça s’est bien passé dû au soutien. Vraiment là, ça s’est super bien passé, même avec mon conjoint. J’ai … Le […]
If Candace has another baby, she would rely more on her social network for support and getting moments to sleep.
Transcript
And so, of me, preparing looks like having those conversations with my family doctor regarding medication. Is that something I stay on while I’m pregnant, or wean off of? And then, do we start it up again right after I give birth? So, medication is a topic, pulling in family […]