Coping with Perinatal Mental Health
The women that we spoke with provided insights and strategies about coping with perinatal mental health, based on their experiences. They described what was useful in the moment, when they needed immediate help managing their thoughts and feelings. They also shared ideas that supported their recovery and ongoing strategies to keep them feeling better, including:
- Speak to someone
- Get emotional support from peers and formal support groups
- Adapt coping skills to current needs
- Build new skills for resilience
- Practice self-care
- Reduce social isolation
Speak to Someone
Most of the women that we spoke with emphasized the importance of speaking to someone about any distressing feelings and thoughts. Candace said “I didn’t want to tell anyone” about her scary thoughts and feelings, but for many of our women, telling trusted family or friends, nurses, family doctors or psychiatrists was the key to recovery. Family doctors and psychiatrists were singled out as an important source of emotional support, information, medications, and therapy resources.
Susan reached out to family when dark thoughts became too much.
Transcript
I don’t really even know how I was dealing with those thoughts. I guess whenever they would pop into my head I would just try and start thinking immediately of something else or busy myself with something. Just try to keep my mind off of it. There was one day […]
Get Emotional Support from Peers and Formal Support Groups
Getting support and being able to share stories and exchange ideas with other new parents was very important to some women. Karmin found formal and informal “peer support to be really helpful”. Erin1 said the support group that her social worker recommended was “the best” help for her. But peer support groups with a perinatal mental health focus could be hard to find for others. As Andrea said, “I did my own research at the time – I was desperately trying to find a group. I didn’t find any” so she started her own on Facebook group.
Mirian felt better after connecting with other new parents in the community.
Transcript
And I was able to go out more with my baby. That’s when I think I started to feel better. You know? To feel like I could do activities with my baby, and I could maybe make friends with their babies. And in that regard, I absolutely loved the neighbourhood […]
Andrea started her own peer support group.
Transcript
I started a Facebook group for maternal mental health awareness, and it has now over 200 members all over the world, and we meet about every six weeks, eight to twelve women at a time, whoever wants to come. We’re by no means mental health professionals; we’re very upfront about […]
Others found and attended formal support groups run by psychiatrists or social workers that focused on learning coping skills. Amanda2 found a support group called Postpartum Support International by Google searching. Candace located support groups based out of Ontario Early Years Centres and an online resource from BC called Postpartum Pacific. Please see our resources section where several resources and support groups are listed.
Michelle1 joined a mindfulness skills group but mostly valued meeting other moms.
Transcript
The hospital that I was being treated at where my psychiatrist was, they had a mindfulness group where they would teach mindfulness techniques. And my psychiatrist, who ran the group actually, told me that there’s a 50% increase of beating depression. Sorry, you have a 50% better chance of getting […]
Amanda2 got a lot of support from an online group.
Transcript
I was then able to connect with that Postpartum Support International. So, I remember going home after I met with her and searching postpartum psychosis, and it took me to their website. And from there…I literally remember Monday nights I was on a Zoom group because everybody was from all […]
Adapt Coping Skills to Meet Current Needs
Several women mentioned that their usual ways of coping did not work as well for them after having a baby. Zoe said: “I couldn’t do things like exercise or meditate which usually helped me with my anxiety. Those were kind of out of the window. Exercise because of C-section, meditate because, when you’re so sleep deprived, it doesn’t really work.” Responding to the needs of a baby and possibly other children, while they experienced mental health symptoms, pushed women to find new ways of coping. They turned to healthcare professionals, medications, counselling and/or built new skills to manage their thoughts and feelings.
Julie could not use her usual method of managing stress because of a birth injury.
Written testimony
So, I walk. Like, walking is, like, a thing that I do, and exercising. And I think I leaned on that, but that was also a challenge because of my birth injury. I had always leaned on doing physical activity to help with stress and as a coping technique and then I couldn’t rely on that as a tool anymore because I was also dealing with the physical injury itself.
Krysta could not use her previous ways of coping once she had a baby to look after.
Transcript
Well, I know, you know, experiencing anxiety before the things that are helpful to me, like, meditation and exercising, getting outside, and seeing friends and family. But in that situation, it was nearly impossible to do any of those things.
Build Skills for Emotional Resilience
Learning to manage thoughts and feelings was described as very helpful for recovery. Building skills using a range of methods such as cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), mindfulness and meditation approaches allowed women to gain more emotional control over their thoughts and feelings. Susan made it a habit to write down “a small victory” everyday – one thing that she was proud of that day. Reading her journal entries reminded her that she was doing a good job as a mom.
Erin1 used CBT skills to cope.
Transcript
Well, like I said, I spoke to my family doctor, and I was pretty open about that. I guess I just, too, I just concentrated on sort of the end game…of having a baby. And you know, I do a lot of, you know, self-talk and, as well, the whole […]
Aurore describes using self-talk to manage negative feelings and thoughts.
Transcript
And so, it involves a lot of self-talk to realise… and this is where it’s been helpful with talking with the public health nurse, and my counsellor, to realise that I can’t do what I used to do, because his well-being, and taking care of him is the utmost importance. […]
Caroline says she is proud of herself for getting better.
Transcript
J’y pense souvent à comment je me sens en ce moment, aujourd’hui… Je suis vraiment heureuse d’aller mieux. Je suis vraiment fière de moi, je me le dis souvent. Puis même que t’sais là je ne prends plus de médications, je suis vraiment fière de moi, d’avoir passé à travers […]
Practice Self-Care
Taking time for yourself, away from your baby, to engage in whatever you like – exercise, music, art, hobbies or coffee with a friend, was seen as essential. The importance of getting out of the house every day, especially outdoors, was commonly mentioned by the women we spoke to as a way to feel better. Hydration and good nutrition were also mentioned as ways to help regulate moods.
After she got help and started medication and therapy, Erin2 “found that going back to work helped [her] a lot. It started to lift [her] out of the depression.”
Exercise, getting outside and taking vitamin D made a huge difference for Michelle2.
Transcript
I find exercise for myself makes a huge difference. And even with my last child, I found exercise has made a huge difference in my mental health. I feel so much better right after I do it. And for the whole rest of the day. I also started taking vitamin […]
Erin2 recommends getting out and seeing people.
Transcript
And like find that just like getting out and seeing people and then being like OK, life is continuing. Normal life is still happening despite everything that I’m feeling. And it’s easy to kind of get trapped in your little home, in your bubble, and it being a pandemic or […]
Kaitlyn would go for bike rides to cope.
Transcript
And especially like when my son was a baby that was like my only outlet that I had. I would just go take him for a bike ride. Like I would just go cycling all the time. Because he would just still be with me safe in his seat, and […]
Reducing Social Isolation
Having a new baby to look after is very socially isolating as women often move from having busy social lives before the birth, to being alone all day with an infant. Women highlighted how important it was to their recovery to connect with other people – talking, sharing their feelings with loved ones or possibly sharing experiences with new people, such as other new moms, in the community or virtually. Emma reassured other women that “there are people out there, there are communities out there. The nice thing about social media is the ability to connect virtually. Especially for people in rural areas, you can connect virtually and get help too”.
Tara was intentional about planning social contacts to avoid feeling alone.
Transcript
I knew that I needed to get out more. So, starting to, you know, be part of different groups – moms’ groups, like joining Facebook groups, and then learning more of other Mom Drop-in groups. Just going there, it really helped get out of the isolation of being stuck at […]