Find help and don’t respond to everything yourself. Joseph advises others to not make the same mistake as he did.
Written testimony
Listen, I think that searching for help, not to try to respond to all the needs on your own, and to… to go get some, whether with the CLSC, whether with the caregivers. There is a lot, a lot of progress in Quebec that took place in the last two years regarding caregivers. I say two years, but in [region in QC], it has been around for a long time. I didn’t know that. And there are lots of people who are family caregivers and who don’t even know they are family caregivers. So, for sure they are not going to use this service. And then, but me, with the support I received, it’s support from external organizations that offered support whether it’s for men, whether it’s for an emotional issue, relational, for caregivers in any case. And it’s these needs for me, these services that were much more helpful than psychological therapy. I consulted a psychologist as well, but participating in these organizations or in support groups, more specific or targeted… In any case, go for it! Go on the internet, it’s easy for those who are able to go. And caregivers or family caregivers, there are lots of tricks for caregivers, and yes, for elderlies, but yes, for any clientele as well. There are some for different health issues and there are general ones and all that. So, that’s it. I think one should absolutely not try to respond to everything oneself. That’s the mistake I made at the beginning, to try to respond to as much as possible—as soon as there was a need, I would absorb it and try to respond to it somehow. Then I would do it in a lame way, and I was losing myself in all that.
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- Travelling, holidays and respite -Joseph and Marie,Joseph et MarieAlthough Marie can no longer get health insurance, she and Joseph still take trips together. They think it is worth the risk
- Interaction with professionals -Joseph and MarieAfter a negative encounter with a doctor at the hospital, Joseph experienced a strong emotional reaction.
- Adapting to new roles and key issues for spouses -Joseph and MarieJoseph and his wife have become much closer after a period of separation.
- Challenging emotions and feelings -Joseph and MarieAfter a negative encounter with a doctor, Joseph experienced a very strong emotional reaction
- Trying to find the right balance -Joseph and Marie,Joseph et MarieAt one point, Joseph left his wife when it became all too much for him, but they are now together again, and are working to find the right balance.
- Impact on professional life and career -Joseph and MarieJoseph received a lot of support from his employer who helped him sort out the right arrangements for him.
- Impact on professional life and career -Joseph and MarieAfter taking sick leave, Joseph decided to request early retirement at work.
- Uncovering how and why caregivers care -Joseph and Marie,Joseph et MarieJoseph wanted to do everything to reduce his wife’s suffering, although he was uncomfortable with some requests.
- Advice for other caregivers -Joseph and MarieFind help and don’t respond to everything yourself. Joseph advises others to not make the same mistake as he did.