Anne is frustrated with the lack of care her husband receives, and no longer accompanies him to see the doctor.
Transcript
One of the problems I have, too, with his condition is his pain is getting worse and worse. And we get no support even from the doctors because they say a lot of the pain killers are addictive and they don’t want him on them, which I don’t understand because, if you’re in that bad of pain, just to suffer constantly is insane. Who cares if he gets addicted if he’s got some kind of comfort? But, I mean, he’s in terrible pain at times. I don’t understand that at all. I’ve gone to his doctor and got really mad at his doctor and said, “Why won’t you give him anything?” He says, “Well, he’s got an addictive personality and na, na, na, na.” I don’t understand it. Why they would allow somebody to suffer as much as he’s been suffering in the last while, it makes no sense to me.
Can you describe how that feels when you are there as a caregiver in that position and you feel you don’t get any help?
Oh angry. Angry, frustrated. I mean, I went in and screamed at his doctor—my husband got really mad at me. I just got so frustrated with the lack of care. They just didn’t care. It’s a lost cause as far as they’re concerned. They put no effort in, they don’t have any help. I just get so fed up with them. And so now when I go to the doctor’s, I won’t even go in with him to see his doctor he makes me so angry. I just sit in the waiting room because I know I’m going to be negative. So he doesn’t, my husband doesn’t like that. So, I don’t even go in; I just get too frustrated with them. And there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no point in even getting angry at them because it doesn’t do anything. It does nothing. I find that really frustrating.
More content
- When care changes over time – AnneRecently, Anne’s husband can barely make it into his wheelchair on his own. She is worried about what will come next.
- Uncovering how and why caregivers care – AnneAnne feels that she would not be able to live with herself, if her husband was in a facility.
- The future and caregiving – AnneAnne is worried about the day her husband can’t get into his wheelchair, but says, “What will happen will happen, there is nothing I can do about it.”
- Support from family and friends – AnneIt was a real shock for Anne that her husband’s family disappeared.
- Interaction with professionals – AnneAnne is frustrated with the lack of care her husband receives, and no longer accompanies him to see the doctor.
- Impact on health – AnneThe stress kept building until Anne was admitted to the hospital for a week.
- Caring for yourself – AnneAnne finds that reading certain books help her manage how she feels.
- Advice for professionals and society – AnneHealthcare professionals should talk to caregivers and remind them that they need to take breaks. Anne ended up in the hospital after breaking down due to stress.
- Advice for professionals and society – AnneHealthcare professionals should talk to caregivers and remind them that they need to take breaks. Anne ended up in the hospital after breaking down due to stress.
- Adapting to new roles and key issues for spouses – AnneAnne feels she has lost her marriage. “When somebody’s chronically ill, they don’t have the energy or the patience.”