Kathryn has amazed her medical team with her resilience and quality of life.
Transcript
My doctor told me last Monday, when I went to see him, that I’m bankrupting the hospital. That I’ve been on my drug for so long that he can’t believe it. And I know that he looks at me in awe that I’m still here, that I have such a good quality of life and I believe that I’m still here to give back, to help other people, because I never listened to the doctors. In the back of my mind, about 3 years into my disease, my doctor actually told me one day, and he apologized, he says “I told your husband, in 2003, I gave you 18 months. He says. “I’m embarrassed to say that I was wrong. I shouldn’t have looked at you like a statistic.” And even now 12 years later he looks at me and he can’t figure it out. He doesn’t understand why I’m still here and nobody does.
I’ve described it to people who can’t understand what metastatic disease is. “I’ve got a big bad giant inside of me and he’s sleeping and we have to keep him sleeping.” I said “But he could wake up at any time and you never know.” So there’s that cloud. And the caption that they took from me is that even your husband does not understand what it’s like to live with that constant reminder, that constant blessing and curse at the same time. The blessing because it makes you enjoy every single day. You wake up every day and you give gratitude that you have another day, you enjoy every season because you’re never really sure are you going to see the next season and the sad thing, I suppose, also is that I’ve lost so many of my friends with the disease and whenever I go back to my metastatic group, is once/month, I go back once/month and sometimes, I don’t go anymore for me. I go because I call myself hope in a bottle. And I give hope to the people who are just newly diagnosed, “Look there is a possibility that you can be here 12 years later.” And I suppose I am very grateful and I express it every day that I’m still here.
More from: Kathryn
More content
- Reconstruction surgery – KathrynKathryn's new breast was never what she expected. After an encapsulated implant she visited three surgeons before she decided with whom to do the operation.
- Surgery – KathrynWhile being treated for a breast cancer recurrence, Kathryn felt she had placed too much importance on preserving her breast.
- Finding and sharing information – KathrynHaving survived 12 years of metastasized breast cancer, Kathryn has given back to her community to provide other women with hope.
- Relating to health care professionals – KathrynKathryn finds most staff very caring and believes they should have more support.
- Positive effects on self – KathrynKathryn found that she had a renewed appreciation of nature. She shared a story about how others reacted to her enthusiasm.
- Challenging emotions – KathrynIn her diary, Kathryn wrote about her fears and doubts just after her diagnosis.
- Perspectives on treatment pathways – KathrynKathryn realized how attached she was to her breasts and how this might be different for doctors who are mostly concerned about saving your life.
- Work and finances – KathrynTeaching can be very challenging. Kathryn was glad for the time off.
- Recurrent and metastatic (advanced) breast cancer – Kathryn (3)Kathryn has amazed her medical team with her resilience and quality of life.
- Recurrent and metastatic (advanced) breast cancer – Kathryn (2)Kathryn had both recurrent and metastatic cancer. She described the day she found out her cancer had spread to her bones.