Coping strategies – Malika


Malika reminded friends and family members that constantly urging a woman with breast cancer to have a positive attitude could actually be unhelpful.


Oh yes, yes! You have to be patient with the people… because when we are… we have this sickness, we become… I don’t know how, we confine ourselves, we feel like… not alone but angry. We say to ourselves: “Why us?” “Why us?” And it is good to be surrounded. It is good to be well surrounded and that they… Those who harass us with positive thinking, it is what I… This is what displease me a little more, it is when they start to… The people start to say: “No, but you must think positively. You have to be positive!” No, no. It’s all very well saying these things when you are on the other side of the barrier. But when you are really living it it’s normal to think about death, it’s normal to think about relapse, it’s normal to say that I am fed up, to be angry and to be depressed at times. You must not add to it by making the person feel guilty. “No, you have to be… No, you have to be positive.”

Yes… How do they say that, half of healing… 50% of healing is the morale. You can be depressed and pessimistic and heal! And optimistic, you do everything and that’s it! So there is nothing! There is no general rule, everything is… Each person is different; your own cancer, your own response, your own feelings, your own… And look how he is… You must not put everybody in the same boat and say… No, you must be positive. It gets on my nerves.

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