Messages to others


Yes don’t treat them like children; don’t treat them as though they’re going to die. Be as helpful as possible, be sensitive to feelings they’re having but don’t be condescending, don’t be “Oh you’re going to be fine.” or “Oh you’re feeling bad let me help you.” Be as positive as you can with them. If you think they need help that they’re maybe not acknowledging, sit down and talk to them about it. Don’t talk to somebody else behind their back, talk to them about it. If they don’t want to listen to you then maybe go talk to a husband or a wife or a mother or a father or something like that. Go with them to appointments if they want; if they don’t want you to go don’t push. Encourage them to keep doing things, to get up and do things, to go and be busy. If you want to do something for them, give them a gift for a day at a spa or something like that. I mean, if you’re having chemo or you’re feeling down in the dumps or something like that I can’t imagine anything nicer than going for a day at the spa that somebody else has paid for. So if you’re a caregiver, whether that’s a family or non-family caregiver think of the care part of it…and the giving part is what you give to them to do but don’t force it on them.

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