It was difficult for Shelley to express certain worries or insecurities.
Transcript
And yet we’ve been able to work through that thankfully and that’s important I think in any relationship. And it’s not easy, it’s not easy and it’s not easy to talk about because it is a vulnerable topic. That is one area there’s not a lot of resources on to be honest and I don’t even know if I’m doing it justice in talking about it here. But talking about those feelings of why you feel vulnerable or unattractive or you’re scared that your husband won’t accept you with the new change, and having him express his fears to you as well is so important. You can’t keep that inside. And it was hard to initially talk about it but things have been great and we’ve just been fortunate in our relationship. Solid enough to not only respect each other physically but just emotionally. If you can’t or you don’t have that relationship to communicate, I would suggest you’ve got to find someone who can help you communicate on those levels. If there’s ever a time you need that extra touch, that extra hug, that extra level of intimacy, it would be in the post-recovery when you’re not feeling attractive at all. You’re not sure, your confidence has been shaken to the core, on that level.
Interviewer: Could you give me an example of your husband’s fears as well?
His fears were that I would not want to be intimate with him anymore. I mean, we’re young or we consider ourselves young. And we are intimate and we enjoy being intimate with each other so it’s, he knew my fears and he could see my fears. He could see my, not my disgust, it wasn’t a disgust, that’s not a good word, my… trepidation with the changes; the weight gain, the hair loss, all of these things, right. All of a sudden, I have no breasts, scars, swollen in areas I didn’t know I had areas to be swollen in, hysterectomy all of that, all of that comes down on you. You just think all of these changes. What did I read. I read loss of estrogen may result in loss of sexual desire, it may result in vaginal dryness, it may this, it may that, talk with your doctor.
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