Advice for friends and family


Well it’s a combination of things, I think. One is definitely just listen and speak to the caregiver—because we’re focusing on caregivers here—and let them talk, and don’t offer solutions. I have one friend who was very big into complimentary or alternative medicine and every other week he would tell me, “Have you tried this for Vivienne or that?” And finally one day I said to him, “I know you mean well, but if our doctors had heard about this, they would have told us by now. It would have been written up. And she has a chronic illness; she’s not going to get better.” And I might have said to him, but I didn’t, “I refuse to feel guilty for not going to the ends of the earth to try and cure her,” which I guess he thought he was trying to do for me.

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