Shoshana suggests that for social events, people should always invite both the caregiver and care recipient; let them decide whether or not they are able to participate.
Written testimony
Don’t exclude the couple because of a physical barrier like if that person was in a wheelchair and they can’t get in your home. Perhaps you could spend time in the yard. They could possibly get in your yard for the evening instead of inside the home if there’s steps involved, washroom problems, that type of thing. Let them say no. Offer it. Let them say no. Let them decide if they want to attempt this.
And if it’s not possible for the ill person, don’t discount the well spouse. “We’re having this get together with so and so and so and so. If your husband isn’t able to come, would you like to come?” Let that person decide if they want to join in. A lot of people aren’t comfortable going solo, but some people are, and don’t make that decision for them. Invite them. Let them decide and let them say yes, or let them say no. Don’t exclude them. Invite them out to a movie or whatever without the spouse. Give them some time to have some social life separated from the ill spouse as well. I think you need that interaction as well. I find it’s very hard to get an ill spouse out to go for coffee with someone else. Whereas a well spouse would probably love the idea of getting invited out to do something away from the home.
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- Interaction with professionals -ShoshanaShoshana disagreed with the diagnosis her husbands’ physician had given him, but later found out why the doctor had been cautious about being straightforward.
- Interaction with professionals -ShoshanaShoshana disagreed with the diagnosis her husbands’ physician had given him, but later found out why the doctor had been cautious about being straightforward.
- Resources -ShoshanaShoshana has maintained friendships with two other women who attended the support group.
- Effects of care recipients’ behaviour -ShoshanaShoshana’s husband has some behavioural issues and can be critical of her in public.
- Support from family and friends -ShoshanaThe support from Shoshana’s family-in-law was very poor, but she did receive great support from her sister.
- Social impact and lifestyle changes -ShoshanaShoshana is nervous about pursuing new friendships because her husband’s temperament has changed with his condition. She is worried about how others will perceive him.
- Providing support -ShoshanaFor Shoshana, caregiving is more about being a memory bank and a daily calendar.
- Legal issues -ShoshanaAfter her husband was mentally incapacitated, Shoshana wondered who could make decisions about her healthcare, should the need arise.
- Impact on health -ShoshanaShoshana advises anybody with suicidal thoughts to find a source of help.
- Advice for friends and family -ShoshanaShoshana suggests that for social events, people should always invite both the caregiver and care recipient; let them decide whether or not they are able to participate.