Trying to find the right balance -Joseph and Marie,Joseph et Marie

 

At one point, Joseph left his wife when it became all too much for him, but they are now together again, and are working to find the right balance.

Written testimony

So, I came back here, my wife was in the hospital and, well, I slowly familiarized myself with the environment. It took some adapting to return. And so, that was… Then next, well, my partner returned and we started in terms of our relationship… a little different as well as seeing thing and I… Some requests were made, the difference at that moment was that before I left, while my perception or my views were, well, my partner is in a particular context, and I will do everything that is in my power to prevent her from suffering, so that she can enjoy life as much as possible. So, when she made a request, I tried to respond as much as possible, and then… But there were requests that weighed me down, or that I found heavy, that I had difficulty to respond to, or I was like reacting to, but with my view of things, it was to allow, as much as possible, to experience pleasant things. 

Ok, when I had requests, I was there and I was weighing the pros and I could allow myself to say, “No, I’m not comfortable with that.” Or I would say, “Yes, okay, I will do it.” So, it was like different, and I was much more selective, anyway, in my perception of things. I was much more… When I returned, the demands were like… we said, “We tried organizing everything during the six months that I was not here, so you can continue to organize yourself, and you’ll use me the least possible.” And little by little, it was like balanced. There was a trade-off at one point. I was trying to fulfill all the demands. Then I left, responded to nothing at all. And now, I try to find a balance, a balance that I set to respond to the needs. It’s when I receive a request, sometimes, that rings inside, it’s grrrr… You know, I am like reacting, and I am not comfortable with that request, and at that moment, I’ll say it. And then in a normal way, I will say, “Well, I’m not able…” I will not fulfill it. And then sometimes….

Sometimes, maybe, I will… I will not be too comfortable, but I will think about it and […] this discomfort will fade away and I will be able to respond to this request. So, I am in the… and I am in the process of balancing, trying to have balance between what I am able to fultil, and what can be offered. Or the requests may be fulfilled by someone other than me. And I am in the process of managing that and balancing it. And I am aware that it’s not perfect. But, in any case, me personally I live much better in the situation I am here. I have the impression of having a better balance and…

Anyway, me personally, I live much better now.

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