Marlyn had to find a balance between the physical care her husband required and her own limits in performing these kinds of tasks.

Transcript

And [homecare is] an absolute Godsend. If you have to speak to any caregivers who do not have homecare and have to look after things like, like dealing with incontinence issues, or bathing their spouse, or even trying to get them in and out of things. I mean, 2 years ago I injured my back because I was helping him. He was at the point where he could still just barely transfer out of his chair into another chair or into the car, something like that, even on and off the toilet because he was still using the toilet on his own then. And initially it was just a kind of a little help and it got to the point where it was, I was really having to try and lift him and that’s when I injured my back. And I simply said “I’m not doing that anymore.” Any kind of transferring is going to have to be with homecare people, and otherwise, I’m just not doing it because it’s taken 2 ½ years for my back to start to feel as if it’s somewhat better, not back to where it was. And it is just such a risk to caregivers because you really do keep doing things until you injure yourself. 

I remember one of the last times I tried to help him was he needed to get off the toilet and he just couldn’t, he couldn’t stand. And so, I was helping as usual, but at one point he said “I keep telling you! I keep telling you! You’ve got to lift me.” Well he’s 185-190 lbs. How am I supposed to lift a 185-190 lb man who can’t help, right? You’re trying to lift that kind of dead weight, and it never crossed his mind that this was an unreasonable request to make.

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• Effects of care recipients’ behaviour -Marlyn
  Maryln noticed that care recipients can get caught up in their own needs and not see the impact they have on the people around them.
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