While working on finding the right balance, Drew’s most important objective is to make sure his mother has the best possible care.
Transcript
How do I see the future? Well, I guess as a family caregiver, for me the future is 5 minutes from now. I try not to cast a net too far ahead of me because I’ve learned in 34 years that things can change on a whim, and the idea for us in what we’re doing is maintain my mother’s current functional abilities and her quality of life. I think that the best piece of advice I’ve ever heard as far as trying to balance the home versus facility environment is, and the possible guilt of being a family caregiver, is that I would never want to wrap myself into such a tight ball about having my mom at home for the rest of her life. So, rather than promise or make a promise to a loved one that I’m going to keep my mom at home forever—and she obviously won’t understand that anyway, but for my own sake—it’s more about looking at the promise that she will always get the best care possible. And if the best care possible is at home, then so be it. But it doesn’t necessarily always mean that. So for me, the future is: she will always get the best care possible. I would love to believe that it’s always going to be as part of our family unit. […] The immediate sort of short-term future challenges are going to be my family life—my kids and where they’re are at in their current lives, they demand more and more out of me and my wife. The medium-term future for us—and I mean fingers crossed—but I certainly hope my kids to some degree are active participants in the caregiving, and they come to appreciate the fact that what we’re doing is something you can continue into the future. But does that mean I know exactly what the future looks like? Not really, other than a pretty firm commitment to ensuring that her quality of life is the highest we can possibly make it. Ultimately, I know that—whether that’s at home or not—I’m still going to be as a family caregiver. I’m still involved 24 hours/day, 7 days/week; it just may take a different shape, so to speak.
More from: Drew
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- When care changes over time – DrewDrew describes two critical points during the course of his mother’s disease when his family had to make significant adjustments.
- Uncovering how and why caregivers care – DrewDrew thinks caregivers need to feel they can overcome most obstacles.
- Trying to find the right balance 2 – DrewWhile working on finding the right balance, Drew’s most important objective is to make sure his mother has the best possible care.
- Trying to find the right balance – DrewDrew and his family have made many changes to keep the right balance over the years.
- The future and caregiving – Drew“The future is 5 minutes from now.” Drew wants to focus on making sure his mother receives the best care possible.
- Support from family and friends – DrewDrew’s siblings all had different reasons to be involved in the care or not.
- Society and caregiving – DrewDrew would like the healthcare system to recognize caregivers’ contributions.
- Navigating the system – DrewAccess is a two-way street. You have to want to reach out, and there has to be something to reach out to. Drew found that there is no single person or place that can meet your needs fully.
- Legal issues – DrewAs a legal guardian for his mother, Drew considers alternatives on a yearly basis to ensure she is receiving the best possible care.
- Hospitals and facilities – DrewHospital staff can make use of the knowledge caregivers have about their loved-ones, as in Drew’s case.