“Take a step back and find out what services you can engage.” Susan suggests taking a moment to find what is available and where to get help.

Transcript

And I think people sometimes just leap into it. And I think probably I’m a good example of that. I just, I was like Boing; once I got the trigger, once the trigger happened, once my father would say, “I miss you,” which was my trigger. I knew that he meant “could you come on out and help?” I mean, it was code for “Could you come on out?” So, I would, as soon as he said that, I would say, “Well, I’ll get back to you and see if I can get out there,” in the next week or two or whatever it was. And so, I think you need to not just react, you need to be planful about this sort of thing.

To be a proactive and planned as you can be […] to reduce the reactive component. Because I think particularly daughters are inclined to just go do it, go take care of it. And I think, taking a moment to think about what the best for everyone involved is probably my advice. That running out or running to do—doing it all—is not always the best approach.

It’s kind of to take a step back and to first.

Deep breath, think it through, and try to figure out what’s best for everyone in the situation. And to engage if—I was fortunate in the sense that I understood the system, so I was able to figure out if my parents were eligible for homecare and because of the policies out there one needed personal care in order to get assistance. They didn’t require personal care assistance for the majority of the time they were there until they moved into supportive housing. So I knew to engage the right services. Well, I would encourage people to find out what services can they engage? What services are available to help the recipient and how can they work their way into that as opposed to taking over for that, but rather be a part of a larger, wider, supportive system for their parent or whoever it is.

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