Uncovering how and why caregivers care – Anne


Anne feels that she would not be able to live with herself, if her husband was in a facility.


But I think with me, it’s the kind of person I am, I couldn’t put him in a home. I could not live with myself to know he’s in a home, because my mother was in a home. And we had taken her to a couple of homes—she had Alzheimer’s so we had to put her in a home—and some of those homes are hell holes. Just I was disgusted and after seeing those places. I could not as a human being put another human being in a place that’s like that. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t live with myself not knowing how they’re treating them, if they’re making sure they’re clean. Like I saw some pretty ugly stuff when my mom had Alzheimer’s, and I couldn’t do that to another person. And I think that’s so shameful that we have places like that, that they’re putting old people in. They know that now. They’ve seen people abused in these places. They know all of this stuff. They just want to close their eyes to it. So I think we’ve got a long way to go to looking after people that have problems or disabilities or old, are older.

A part of it is dealing with—like there’s such an ugly side to this; it’s just horrific. In the beginning when you see the awfulness and then you see these other people in the same situation, what they have to live with. it’s kind of coming to terms with that kind of stuff and saying “Well, I’ll do the best I can and make him as comfortable as I can,” and that kind of thing. Just treating another human being like a human being. I mean, I’m not perfect by any means. I get angry at him and everything else, but I still couldn’t put him in a place and just throw a human being away. No, not going to do that. So that’s really what is the underlying thing.

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