Christiane’s husband often refuses to eat or take his medication if she is not around, and it is becoming harder to find caregivers with whom he will cooperate.
Transcript
Like now, he didn’t like it yesterday when there was a new person, because he doesn’t remember who came and who will come. Because he is not allowed… Blocks of 4 to 8 hours. It costs $15 for an 8-hour day; you leave at 12 p.m., you come back at 8 p.m. You have to be back for 8 p.m., it can be in the morning up to… whatever. He didn’t remember, that is why he didn’t want to have supper. When I came back, the patient attendant was feeling badly “he didn’t want to have supper.” Well I said, “Anyway, he had a good lunch.” And I said, “he is still corpulent.” In fact, he wasn’t that hungry, he only had oatmeal when I came home. He was waiting for “his wife”. “My wife will give me some.” “My wife will do this.” “My wife will do that.” It’s always “my wife”. Even if I prepared it. I had made the soup and put it in the fridge. “No, I’m waiting for my wife.” Well, I have to make him understand that I need to have some rest if I want to continue keeping him with me, I need to take a break. And I must be able to take breaks without worrying. You know I can’t always spent $45 whenever and say “Well now, I am resting”. Like now I asked for it, I will bring him to see them because they are Blacks, I don’t know how he will react. Before he was reacting well. Before he didn’t see the difference between a White person and a Black one. You know, they are human beings, but now he is more… Homosexuals, he is reacting, you know… He didn’t do that before, but now with the sickness. Well, you have to deal with this too. As I had hired a patient attendant, no, he didn’t want to, he said that he was homosexual. I said, “Yes, but did he touch you?” “No, but…” and I said, “Yes, but he is looking for someone his own age, not an old man like you.” No, he didn’t want to, he didn’t want him to care for him. I had to hire another one. So it is always… We don’t have the choice to say “Well…” You know, he wants […]. No, he has to want it.
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- Legal issues -ChristianeGetting a mandate in case of incapacity costs a lot of money, which Christiane is unable to pay at this moment.
- The future and caregiving – ChristianeChristiane knows she needs a break; she worries about what will happen to her husband if she gets sick.
- Support from family and friends – ChristianeChristiane finds it difficult to ask friends for help, especially since she is not able to pay them.
- Social impact and lifestyle changes – ChristianeChristiane feels isolated because it seems that her friends don’t want to visit anymore.
- Resources – ChristianeThanks to arrangements made possible by her support group, Christiane is able to attend conferences and other activities organized by the caregivers group.
- Providing support – ChristianeOne weekend, Christiane had to move her husband in bed. And with her back problem, she wonders what might happen if she had to do it again.
- Navigating the system – ChristianeChristiane had to make many phone calls to arrange for things like a wheelchair and home care support.
- Interaction with professionals – ChristianeChristiane told her social worker about a solution she found herself.
- Hospitals and facilities (2) – ChristianeChristiane has to check-up regularly on how the facility is caring for her husband.
- Hospitals and facilities – ChristianeChristiane struggled with the decision to move her husband to a facility; her parents helped her make the decision.