For Elaine, staying in touch with friends takes effort and you cannot expect people to come to you all the time.
We have a real large circle of friends that we still keep in touch with, have breakfast once a week with a good number of them. I used to give dinner parties all the time and I’m finding that I’m giving less and less and less dinner parties. Because by that time of the day, my husband’s not functioning very well and that puts great stress on him to have people over for dinner. The last thing I want is our friends to not want to come, and sometimes that’s very hard to see your husband or your friend not handling things very well. So, I’ve gotten away from that kind of thing. And our friends know that if they want to see us, breakfast is great sometimes and so is lunch. […] Good friends are very accommodating and it’s wonderful to have good friends. It’s an effort you’ve got to keep that. You can’t always expect people to come to you all the time. You have to be open and—I’ll explain, “It’s not so good today,” or “I think we can’t come for dinner, but if you’d like us to come for lunch that would be great,” or meet for lunch. It’s a short time. Then it’s not later on in the day. That works best.
More from: Elaine
- Home care and live-in caregivers – ElaineElaine’s father met a grief counsellor who was only in her twenties. Elaine explained to her that she may not be the right fit for her father.
- Adapting to new roles and key issues for spouses – Elaine (3)Elaine went through periods of anger and feeling sad. She realized later that she had to face up to her role as a caregiver and accept it.
- Adapting to new roles and key issues for spouses Elaine (2)Elaine had to stop sharing a bed with her husband when he started having violent dreams from Parkinson’s disease.
- Adapting to new roles and key issues for spouses -ElaineFor Elaine, it is important to find a way to have some intimate moments with her husband.
- Effects of care recipients’ behaviour – ElaineDespite her concerns, it was important for Elaine’s husband to continue doing work around the house. She learned to stand back and let him do what he can.
- Financial impact – ElaineElaine explains how they have adapted their home for her husband and how much it costs.
- Social impact and lifestyle changes – ElaineFor Elaine, staying in touch with friends takes effort and you cannot expect people to come to you all the time.
- Personal growth and transformation – ElaineGo with the flow: Elaine always tells her granddaughters to make the best of what life brings.
- Uncovering how and why caregivers care – ElaineElaine wants to be proud of what she has done as a caregiver.
- Society and caregiving – ElaineElaine does many simple things to raise people’s awareness of Parkinson’s disease. It helps people feel more comfortable in otherwise difficult moments.