When Fernanda is hiking in the mountains, there is no cell reception. Although she feels guilty, being unavailable is a relief.
Transcript
So my escapes are my holidays and I’ll go hiking. And when I go hiking, I try to go up 8,000 feet above tree line where I can stand on top of a mountain, and just that’s when nothing matters. That is when, I don’t know if it is because you’ve got to hike to get up there, so you’re hiking up and you’re working your frustrations, you’re hot. Maybe that’s what it is, but that’s the time when I replenish myself. It is those 2-3 weeks out of the year that, and even then it’s tough because the… and this is a horrible thing to say, but and I feel guilty even saying it, but you know what? When I’m above tree line my cell phone doesn’t work. And so, there’s no phone calls from mom, because she phones me every day. She phones me five to six times a day. There’s no, I don’t have to go to the hospital twice a day. I don’t have to see other people that have no legs, no arms. I just, for those two weeks, despite that fact that I phone my mother every day, that just gives me a bit of a reprieve.
And the good thing is if anything happens, the nephrologists have known mom for so long, for so long, that they basically know like we have a “do not resuscitate order” on mom, because if they had to, they’d crush the sternum. It would be a lot worse for her. And they will know, they know what’s best for her, and they all know what her wishes are. But that’s my biggest fear, is that I’m going to come back from a hike, from a day hike, and there’s going to be, I’m going to phone and they’re going to say, “You need to come home. Your mom’s gone.”
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- Travelling, holidays and respite – FernandaWhen Fernanda is hiking in the mountains, there is no cell reception. Although she feels guilty, being unavailable is a relief.
- Hospitals and facilities – FernandaFernanda found good support from the client advocacy office, when her mother was in great pain without any specific treatment for it.
- Challenging emotions and feelings – Fernanda (2)When Fernanda’s mother went into a facility, Fernanda felt like she was betraying and abandoning her.
- Challenging emotions and feelings – FernandaFernanda’s social worker was a big help: she assured her that her negative feelings were normal.
- Effects of care recipients’ behaviour – FernandaFernanda appreciates her mother’s endurance and attitude. Nonetheless, it is sometimes difficult when she relies mostly on Fernanda and refuses other help that is offered to her.
- Caring for yourself – FernandaFernanda learned that you need to have time for fun. Still, it can be hard to take time for herself.
- Impact on professional life and career – FernandaFernanda asks employers to put themselves in the caregivers’ shoes; it is really hard to balance care and work.
- Impact on health – FernandaA social worker helped Fernanda find the skills she needs to cope with her situation.
- Providing support – FernandaThe toughest thing that Fernanda did was tell the doctors that she wasn’t able to care for her mother anymore at home.
- Society and caregiving – FernandaFernanda thinks it would be wonderful if people knew more about what it means to be a caregiver.