Social impact and lifestyle changes – Shayna (2)


It can be challenging for children to grow up in a situation where one parent is sick and needs continuous care. Shayna tried to find the right balance with her family.


So I don’t think my experience as a caregiver is unique. I think a spousal caregiver has a very unique experience as compared to a child caregiver. I think the children, young children, go through hell and don’t realize it and don’t know how to cope with the nice things that people say that are all wrong; that are terribly guilt-ridden, riding, imposing, guilt imposing on these children. I had to teach my children that it’s okay to say “no” to their father, who would call them every 2 minutes to pick up a pen that dropped or get something. It’s just, you can’t do that to a child; they’re not your caregiver. That’s a whole different piece. And you as a mother watching this—seeing how it affects your children, seeing how your children are so ambivalent between wanting to help and hating to help, and how it affects them—and trying to deal with that, that’s a whole different volume.

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