Sheni’s family-in-law did not offer any help. In fact, they made it harder for her.
Transcript
Do I just not find a job and go through the assets or do I find a job and leave him at home by himself, or do I find somebody to help me? There was no help available. So, in order for me to get somebody to help, it would have to be a relative who was willing to do it for essentially nothing, or for a very low fee…or you just take a chance and leave them at home. You just don’t know what to do because your options are extremely limited. So, not only was there an emotional impact to this whole scenario, but there was also a huge, huge financial impact as well, and a lot of stress in every way, shape, and form. Like psychological stress, financial stress, it was just stress city, totally. I’d been totally stressed out for all these years. It’s just been ridiculous.
Anyway, one of the things that I ended up allowing to happen, because I was in a very desperate situation, was I allowed my husband’s sister to look after him when he got out of the rehab centre. Now, that was not something that I would suggest anybody do, although I felt it was my only option at the time. It ended up being very problematic because she was really making my life difficult and interfering. I was his power of attorney and she was interfering with everything I did and she was questioning everything I did. She didn’t think that any of his money should be used to support his kids or to pay for his things, to support his assets, for example to pay any of the taxes on the home that we own or the property that we own. Stuff like that.
So, there was a lot of interference from these, from his side of the family. And yet, they did not, in really any way shape or form, offer to help at all. So, I was having to deal not only with the situation with him, but it was compounded by the fact that they just basically stepped in, made my life extremely difficult. So, that was a really hard thing to manage and they even took it a step further and started complaining to the Public Guardian that I was—well they made up a lot of stories that weren’t true. They lied about a number of things. And they said things like I had property up for sale that we co-owned, and that wasn’t true. But they told the Public Guardian that, and then my sister-in-law decided to block contact when my husband was living with her.
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- Trying to find the right balance – SheniWhen her husband was in the hospital, Sheni did all she could to help her children through this period.
- Support from family and friends – SheniSheni’s family-in-law did not offer any help. In fact, they made it harder for her.
- Social impact and lifestyle changes – SheniSheni notices that she has a lot less tolerance for other people’s minor problems and this has affected her friendships.
- Legal issues – SheniSheni’s power of attorney was revoked after her sister-in-law contacted the Public Guardian. Sheni thinks it is important to read up on the rules of power of attorney to avoid any issues.
- Interaction with professionals – SheniSheni describes two occasions where she had a disagreement with the doctors.
- Financial impact – SheniSheni and her husband had always been self-employed. In just a few weeks, they lost all their income.
- Impact on professional life and career 2 – SheniWhen her son started radiation therapy for his brain tumour, Sheni had to take time off work. Unfortunately, her manager was not very understanding.
- Impact on professional life and career – SheniIt is difficult to work while caring for someone at home. Sheni dealt with situations that she felt most people never have to deal with.
- Home care and live-in caregivers – SheniSheni found the live-in caregiver very helpful, especially since she could check-in with him at home during the day.
- Health system issues – SheniFor Sheni, it was impossible to work and find care for her husband.