Shoshana is nervous about pursuing new friendships because her husband’s temperament has changed with his condition. She is worried about how others will perceive him.
Written testimony
He would criticize… if we had someone here, he would criticize something I might have done. Lately what it is is I’m not doing things the way he would do things, and it’s like, “Big deal, right?” Like, it’s not a big deal. But it is to him. I don’t word sentences the way he would word them. He’ll say, “You mean this,” and I say, “No, I mean what I said originally” because I’m not wording it the way he would word it. And these are little things, but this is what it’s coming to. And he will criticize things when there are people here and that’s very embarrassing for me because some people will tell me later, “Oh, he was very harsh to you,” or something. Some people will say—it depends on how well we know them—some people we don’t know well and I’m worried what they’re thinking. It sometimes affects our social life. Do I want to pursue a new friendship with another couple? I don’t know because that makes me very nervous…because it’s not something I share that he has this illness right away. But if they don’t know it, they wouldn’t understand his actions as behaviour. He can be a lot of fun when we’re with another couple, but he can also be a little rough around the edges. And do I want to take that risk of introducing a new couple to our social circle? I have to think long and hard before I do that. I have to decide if I want to prepare this couple for what he has. Because he also lately, he just says things straight out and doesn’t think about the other person’s feelings. He didn’t used to be that way.
More content
- Interaction with professionals -ShoshanaShoshana disagreed with the diagnosis her husbands’ physician had given him, but later found out why the doctor had been cautious about being straightforward.
- Interaction with professionals -ShoshanaShoshana disagreed with the diagnosis her husbands’ physician had given him, but later found out why the doctor had been cautious about being straightforward.
- Resources -ShoshanaShoshana has maintained friendships with two other women who attended the support group.
- Effects of care recipients’ behaviour -ShoshanaShoshana’s husband has some behavioural issues and can be critical of her in public.
- Support from family and friends -ShoshanaThe support from Shoshana’s family-in-law was very poor, but she did receive great support from her sister.
- Social impact and lifestyle changes -ShoshanaShoshana is nervous about pursuing new friendships because her husband’s temperament has changed with his condition. She is worried about how others will perceive him.
- Providing support -ShoshanaFor Shoshana, caregiving is more about being a memory bank and a daily calendar.
- Legal issues -ShoshanaAfter her husband was mentally incapacitated, Shoshana wondered who could make decisions about her healthcare, should the need arise.
- Impact on health -ShoshanaShoshana advises anybody with suicidal thoughts to find a source of help.
- Advice for friends and family -ShoshanaShoshana suggests that for social events, people should always invite both the caregiver and care recipient; let them decide whether or not they are able to participate.